Mothering Polar Opposites

I had a rough childhood – not funny so I will not discuss that at the moment. =) So from the very beginning of my adulthood I had a plan. I would only become a Mother when I felt I was in balance and in a good place. I wanted my little people to know that they were wanted 100% and that I desired to be a mother. I knew they don’t get a choice so I wanted to make a conscious choice to become a good mother (not a perfect mom because there is not one). This is why I am 53 with an 11 year old and a soon to be 15 year old. Some think I’m their grandmother – whaaaat? So far in various times of my life I have been asked if I am the nanny (I’m brown), my husband’s mother (while we were kissing on THE MOUTH in a pool) or my youngest’s grandmother (Ageist much?). You just gotta laugh right? LOL I digress. . .so after many miscarriages I end up with these two gorgeous daughters.(why do they always look better than us? Obviously that was in our genes – were you saving them up for someone else instead of me? Gah!) When all the pregnant ladies at my OBGYN were talking about how they hope their babies had all their fingers and toes and such I was secretly whispering, “Please do not let them be stupid. I can NOT have dumb kids. Please give them a load of intelligence and aptitude”. Sure enough, I got my wish. They are both wicked smart and OH LO! what was I thinking? Just to add some MORE fun, the Universe decided to add a sprinkle of haha and make them totally polar opposite. You heard me. My eldest is like my younger self – a perfectionist to a fault, a rule follower to the point of annoyance, straight and narrow, black and white. . .and then has her own traits – hates loud noises, detests singing at the table, loathes waking up early. My youngest one pops up early in the morning ready to converse. She loves to hug and kiss and sing and dance and do everything her sister can not stand. She is full on ADHD and a math whiz like her father. At first I was at a loss. How do I parent these amazing little humans when they are so different? Took me a couple of years to figure out that I needed to be a different mom for each of them. The change had to come from ME not them. You simply can not parent polar opposites and be the same person. I am imperfect and I have yelled at them and felt like a total loser mom. I also do not spoil them so they do not grow up entitled and narrow minded. Adulting and parenting is HARD, people! Do yourself and the world a favor. Before you decide to have children research and really delve into your soul to make sure you want to do it. I did and DO want children but I have learned that it is the hardest job in the world. I am looking forward to retirement and I hope they are better versions of themselves because of a little bit of my influence. My sister chooses not to have children. She is an AMAZING woman, sister and medical professional. She is the best Auntie in the universe. She travels as often as she can and she is a great role model for my girls. This way my daughters will grow up knowing having children is a choice not a chore.

Can we put a gif on our blog? I don’t know these things. If so, here is a perfect gif that personifies my two daughters. The ostrich is my youngest and the giraffe is my eldest.

Published by bridgey1967

Loyal. Funny. Sensitive. Loving.

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