A- is the Asian F

While the kids enjoy their last week off for Winter Break I remind them to be sure to get their sleeping schedules back in line so they can be ready for “school” – such as it is during the pandemic. They moan and whine and I am transported back to my childhood growing up with a Korean mother. All the Asian immigrant people my age know what I am talking about. All I said to my kids were to stop whining. My mom would have dragged me out of bed and yelled in my face telling me how ungrateful I was. I was constantly reminded that she quit school at age 14 to work. Mind you, no one told her to do that. But by God she did it so I got to hear about it a lot. LOL She was illiterate in two languages but she insisted that I make good grades. If I brought home a 99 she wanted to know what happened to that other point. If you can make a 99 why can’t you make a 100? I shit you not – this is really what she told me. I never once heard good job or any other compliment. It was just EXPECTED of me to bring home a straight A report card. So I did. We were poor so I was expected to get a scholarship. So I did. I became a school teacher which she thought was fantastic as teachers were practically worshipped in her village in South Korea. When I walked across the stage during my college graduation she was bawling. Everyone pointed up in the stands and said who is that? In a sea of white people there is one brown lady bawling into her wad of tissues wearing a loud glittery sweater with her hair picked out in a poofy ‘do. I’m the only brown kid in our row and I say, “I don’t know.” LOL My sister is 9 years younger than me and she had a totally different upbringing. She was born in America so mom did not push her the same. Honestly she is way smarter than I am but it was fine with mom if she was on the A/B honor roll – no big deal. NO guilt trips. My sister did not go to university but became a radiographer. Suddenly she tells everyone that her daughter is a doctor. WTF? Mama always wanted grandkids. I took my time getting married – true. Eventually, I had two baby girls and while she pined for a grandson (most Asians do) she loved those little kiddos. My sister did not want kids and she was never pressured to have any. When she would talk about us she would proudly tell everyone that one of her daughters was a doctor and the other was a housewife. All those years of staying up all night studying and in my 40s I am reduced to “the housewife”. Had I known that, I would have had a little more fun in high school. I am proud of my sister and I love my children but growing up in a household with a Korean Mama was EXTRA.

Asian Grading Scale:

A = Acceptable

B = Bad

C = Can’t Eat Supper

D = Don’t Come Home

F = Find a New Family

Published by bridgey1967

Loyal. Funny. Sensitive. Loving.

One thought on “A- is the Asian F

  1. I guess our mom’s expectation were a bit different. You were expected to pass (C or better) and you were expected to graduate high school. Then the expectation was that girls get married and have kids. And guys go get a job and become “a self-made man.”

    As the first to go to college, my dad said, “why the hell do you want to do that?”

    In high school my mom one day said, “you study too much. You should be having fun during high school, dating and going dancing.” Funny thing is, her religious beliefs didn’t allow us to go dancing. So at 16 I finally went on A date. Just one. Just to get her off my back so I could get back to studying.

    I agree that my younger sister is WAY smarter than I am. And mom was pooped by the time she grew up, so she didn’t get the same guilt trips played on us older kids.
    JoAnne has the smarts, but I have the work ethic.


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