I love wordplay. When I was in college I was so punny my friends would call me The Pun Hun or Attila The Pun – I’m not kidding! I mostly got groans from my audience but sometimes we would have a good laugh and talk about it later. It’s HUMP day and I decided you needed some puns in your life – enjoy – thank me later. Oh, and if you are a Dad – you are welcome.
Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
Name your talking technology The Titanic so it will say “The Titanic is syncing”.
Last night, I had a weird dream that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda – but it was just a FANTA SEA.
Two windmills on a wind farm are having a conversation. One says to the other, “What is your favorite genre of music?” The other replies, “I’m a metal fan”.
Did you hear about the person whose whole left side was cut off in an accident? He’s all right now.
If I open a restaurant I’m going to call it Karma. There will be no menu as everyone will just get what he deserves.
My brother in law cut his finger today while he was woodworking. On the other hand he was completely fine.
For a chemist alcohol is always a solution.
A cross eyed teacher cannot control her pupils.
When the past, present, and future go camping they argue and it is intense tense in tents.
Is it ignorance or apathy that is destroying our country? I don’t know and I don’t really care.
And some puns from my cat, Ivan:
I’m looking good and feline even better!
It ain’t easy being this purrr-fect.
Don’t be a sour puss – be PAWsitive!
I knead you more than you need me.
What do you call a pile of cats? A purrrramid!
His favorite movie is the Little Mewmaid.
On cold winter nights Ivan wears PAWjamas.
Ivan’s favorite action hero is Jean CLAWed Van Dam
I hope you have enjoyed his HISSterically funny cat puns! Thanks for reading! Share your favorite puns in the comment section please!