I already wrote a post about how my BP2/ADHD husband will have memories that NEVER occurred, but there is another phenomenon that happens with people after they have known each other for quite awhile. We tend to insert our favorite people into our memories even though they were not in our lives “back then”. Strange, no?
Even though Jo and I have been besties forever, there are times in my life that she was not present. No matter, I sometimes insert her in there as if she was. Sometimes I will retell stories in front of her and she will gently remind me that we met in college, hence she could not have been at any of my high school stuff. Oops.
Similarly, I have inserted my husband in a few stories that happened before we met as well. Why do we do that? I think when we really love someone, we become so comfortable with them that it seems we have never been apart from them. So, it makes sense that we imagine they were with us during all of our momentous occasions.
An opposite effect that has happened is that I can barely remember any of my ex boyfriends. I remember their names and faces but I don’t recall much else. I don’t hate any of them but I don’t care about them enough to feel bad about it. Maybe we only have so many slots in our memory bank and when we fill them with the good memories the bad ones just go into archive? Who knows.
How is it then that my most painful memories are not gone? Puzzling.