I mean, I know WE do not celebrate but do the living who are left behind?
I wonder this because today is my Uncle Alex’s birthday or would have been had he not passed away. He would have been 93 today. It is cool that his birthday fell on Earth Day this year because he loved nature. He made bluebird houses until he couldn’t, he helped with the church garden until he was unable and he always took care of his plants around the house. He and I have that in common for sure.
So near his birthday I sent my cousin Judy (his daughter) a card just to tell her I was missing him too and I was thinking of her. Then I doubted myself. Was that a bonehead move? I mean, I think of my dad on his birthday but does she? The second birthday since Daddy’s passing is around the corner and I’ve been teary just thinking about it.
On Google Doodle I see often see birthdays of “famous” and not so famous people who made a mark in the world well past normal birthdays like 193 and all that. I guess it’s another way to remember what Marie Curie did for medicine or what Henry Moseley did for science (uh, in case you don’t know he discovered in 1913 that every chemical element’s identity is determined by its number of protons. So, yeah, the father of the periodic table). So it seems we should remember people that we think a lot of on their birthdays.
When we sing the birthday song at every gathering I am the one that chimes at the end “and many more”. While I am not superstitious, I just thought it was a nice way to say hope they live for many more years. In 2019 when Daddy was in the throes of cancer treatments and uncertainty I remember just whispering “and many more” because I could not bear the thought there may be “no more”. Plus I was hoping against odds that he would make it to his NEXT birthday. Sadly, he only made it to November 14. Now that day will be forever the saddest day of my life.
Different people believe differently about many things. I know some believe if we hold on to our loved ones, it keeps us stuck. Others believe that if we continue our relationships with people after they pass away, you are still able to love them and hence get some good out of that. I guess we all have to find our own way to honor people we love.
I know people will remember the anniversary of someone’s death, but I don’t know if everyone thinks about their birthdays. Do you? I think I have decided while a birthday is really for celebrating how many year’s they have been alive, I am going to honor my father on his birthday regardless of the pain it causes me. Even though the loss will be magnified on that day, I will try to replace my sadness and pain with love and laughter each year. I think he would like that.