I dedicate this blog to my two best friends. They are so very different and I love that about them. They have similarities too – they both work hard whether they like their job or not, they are loyal to their families even when the family members can be stupid, they nurture with every ounce of energy they have and they always make room in their hearts for little old me. I truly do not think I would be alive if it was not for these two.
Women in general tend to overdo. I don’t know if we are wired for it or if society imposes it upon us. Is it because we are the mothers of the world? Whether we birth children or not, we multitask and take care of others before us. Even why we cry out “I am selfish, I’m going to do something for myself”, we are at the same time always helping others. Some men are beautiful and wonderful but no one can understand women as well as other women.
We need to be SEEN. We need to be LOVED and we need to be VALUED. To be valued is to know that we have not just merely lived. Did we make a difference in the lives of others and has anyone SEEN us do that? We are intrinsically motivated to have a meaning in life which gives us purpose which then gives us the endurance to work hard when things are difficult. If for some reason, we are not appreciated then we feel run down and just feel “off”.
You have a never ending well of kindness. You truly do. USE it. If there is a wonderful woman in your life – a spouse, a sister, a mother, a BFF, a daughter or a neighbor tell HER earnestly and with sincerity that you SEE them and you KNOW they are amazing and that you VALUE them! It costs nothing and it is very little effort. If they blush or wave you away, do not be discouraged. They heard you. For some of us it is very hard to hear compliments or believe them. Send them a card, write them a note, send a GIF via text – but make sure you really mean it. We can smell BS from miles away.
So, to my BFFs – I know these past few years have been very difficult. But know this: I SEE you. I know your childhoods were not easy ones. I know that you have not achieved everything you have set out to do. I know you are looking around wondering if all the hard work you have put in has been worth it. It has been. You don’t need a trophy – you are here, alive and thriving and that is a great accomplishment. I can see all the good you have done in the world influencing your children or the children of others. I LOVE you. Even when you are exhausted you have listened to me cry about my situations no matter how many times I repeat them. You don’t just tell me to get a divorce, you say that you love my husband too and that I can hang in there. You never tell me to just get over it. You have loved me in my darkest hour and during my most happy moments. Thank you. I hope you reach out to me when you need me because I am here to help you too. I VALUE you. I thank my lucky stars that you are both in my life. When I fell to my knees in grief and thought I could never get up again, you both pulled me up and held me and whispered that everything was indeed terrible but that I would not have to bear the pain alone. When the pain passed, you helped me laugh at myself and allowed me to laugh at you just for the sake of levity.
I will always be here for you and I treasure our friendship. Please do not ever forget your worth. As you fall asleep each night I hope you will hear me whisper, “I appreciate you so much. Walk tall and proud – you are amazing. “. If there are people dragging you down, get rid of them (I mean, don’t kill them, I just mean stop allowing them to be a part of your life). But if you do happen to want to kill anyone. . .