I’ve never been a girly girl. I’ve never been a beauty queen. I’ve never liked polka dots. I never liked wearing panty hose. People used to tell me to be more lady like but I’m no lady. To be a lady you must be quiet, mannerly, elegant and mature and I’m none of that.
When I was young my classmates called me a tomboy. I liked wearing jeans and t shirts. I liked climbing trees and roaming through the woods. I did not mind getting my hands dirty when working on a car or helping out in the garden. I loved horses more than people. I was happiest with a good book. I didn’t care if a boy looked my way although I did have crushes. None of my crushes liked the kind of girl I was though. Pity.
When I became a teacher I tried to be more ladylike as it was expected of me. I wore dresses and fixed my hair and wore makeup. I wore flats though. I ditched the hose after I ruined my 10th pair. What a waste of money. I had tanned legs so everyone thought I was wearing them anyway. One day I slipped off my shoes while teaching and the principal saw me while walking by. He told me I had to wear shoes so I brought ballet bedroom slippers and wore those instead.
After seven years of that I left my career and bounced from job to job trying out different things. I was an administrative assistant and that meant dresses and make up again. I worked in a law office – same. I worked in a library as an assistant and there I could dress down a bit. As long as I was clean no one seemed to care if I was wearing makeup or dresses. That was nice. Plus you need to be in comfortable clothes to reach the bottom shelves or climb a ladder to reach the top shelf. I have to say that was my favorite job and could have turned it into a career if I had not chosen to stay home with the kids.
You would think that being a stay at home mom would mean not worrying about clothes or looks but OMG have you MET young moms? Playdates were like a look at me party for some of them. It was some badge of honor to look like a model AND have babies. I could not keep up with that. So I was the clean but frumpy mom in the group and they had to just deal with it because I had enough shit to deal with.
When I started substitute teaching I felt like I had to go back to makeup and nicer clothes again. After several years of that, the COVID pandemic hit and I was home A LOT. Off went the pants on most days and I ran around in a big t shirt and flip flops. I stopped wearing a bra and have not looked back since. My breasts do not ache any more and I swear they seem perkier than before. My neck does not hurt as much either. I am wearing pants but they are loose and baggy. I cut my hair into a very short style and I threw all my makeup away.
I think I’m finally in the skin I feel most comfortable in. I’m not sure what my husband thinks but he doesn’t seem to mind. I don’t have anything to prove. I shower every day, I run a brush through my hair, I wear my natural deodorant and brush my teeth. I am clean and I am clothed. So yeah, that’s my “style” now – clean, clothed and comfortable. I think I will enjoy my 50s. LOL