Today our 12 year old challenged us again. She is an amazing teen, a brilliant student, a loving daughter who also happens to have severe ADHD. I love it when people tell me she does not “act like she has ADHD”. So many people really don’t understand it. I highly recommend everyone read: https://www.additudemag.com/what-is-adhd-symptoms-causes-treatments/
Most importantly people need to know that ADHD is a developmental impairment of the brain’s self-management system. Key words: SELF MANAGEMENT. It is already hard for ourselves to manage our emotions and decisions but you add ADHD into the mix and these people will look either lazy or super busy.
So my kiddo loves the Internet and her brain will allow her to go a little too far down the rabbit hole. Today, she went to far and we had to have a talk about it. At first she gave us half truths. Once we showed her evidence, she came clean and then felt awful about it. That is the thing. She is not an evil person, she is not deceptive to a fault but she does make poor choices. This is something she will struggle with all her life.
My eldest and I have the opposite problem. We are so crippled by our worry of doing something bad, we miss out on a lot of opportunities. Everyone has their own baggage and we all have to figure out how to carry it. Of course we want our daughter to be confident, secure and happy. Above all, we want her to be safe. So I’m happy to report we did not wig out or over react.
I typed out two lists for her – one of places on the Internet she can go alone and one of places she must have a chaperone. This will help her make better decisions in the future. Does it mean she will never lie? Nope. It is human nature to lie or omit something if we don’t want want disapproval. Luckily she does know when to apologize and ask for forgiveness. Have I mentioned parenting is not for pussies?