Our family decided to spend Thanksgiving at the beach this year. It was mostly my idea. I needed a symbolic one last goodbye sort of thing for my father. I’m not saying I’m forgetting him – NEVER – but I have come to terms with my grief and I feel healthy and in control of my emotions again. It’s been a long two years but I am grateful for feeling more empowered.
Thanksgiving is not a holiday I enjoy but for a few years after Mother’s death, my father chose to visit us. My mother never made a traditional turkey dinner on Thanksgiving so I gave him one for several years. The first one was the one you see on tv commercials. A big turkey, all the sides, etc. Daddy LOVED it. The next year we did a standing bone in beef roast and Daddy loved it. My husband thought it was good too. The year after that it was a bone in pork roast. I think it was the first time I’ve ever seen my sister’s man eat so much. That was HIS favorite think I’ve cooked. LOL It was fun mixing it up.
I have no memory of the Thanksgiving in 2019 – dad had died just 2 weeks before and it is a blur. I can’t tell you where I ate, who cooked or anything else. I was a mess. 2020 – well you know that was a dumpster fire of a year! I have a hazy memory of it but I’m not sure what we did either. So this year, I just wanted to relax and reset. It’s time to move forward. I will NEVER forget my father and will mourn the loss all my life but in a way that does not interfere from my ability to be present for my family and close friends. I am relieved to have reached this point of my grieving. Grief is truly circular and not linear.
It was wonderful to be at the beach and relax. I will blog more about the actual trip in upcoming posts. I am hoping next year to make a nice dinner (maybe seafood this time?) and hopefully my sister and her man can join us and we will begin a new tradition for our little family that has nothing to do with genocide. I hope it will just be a time to get together, eat a good meal and have a rest from the hustle and bustle of “real life”.