Why Is Life So Hard?

Life can be so very, very good sometimes. Other times it just feels like you got the bad end of a “deal”. There are plenty of reasons why people’s lives are so hard, unfortunately. But did you know that we also have some natural tendencies that makes life hard? Yup.

As humans we are selfish. I know, I know – when we call selfish we usually mean they are bad so why would we ever admit that we are selfish? It’s all about survival. Do you think our ancestors survived because they said, “No, really you should eat the meat that I tracked all day”. Uh uh – they said, get away from my kill you jerk – it’s mine! So like it or not, we all have a “splash” of selfishness built into our psyche. So sometimes, this makes life a little hard. We just have to balance it out as evolved individuals. Don’t be a Karen – they are still neanderthals.

I have always disliked hypocrites. I was so black and white and fact based for so long. I think I was focused on the truth because I was lied to a lot as a kid. Turns out though, we all have hypocrisy hard wired in our brain. Nooooooo! It’s really more accurate to say that we become more inconsistent with age – it happens naturally because we gain more exposure to things and change our opinions sometimes. Don’t be a stubborn, staunch hypocrite JUST to say that you can’t be changed. Go with it and forgive yourself and know that you are not alone.

At least we have free will right? Or do we? We are lucky, especially in the US, to say that we have a lot of freedoms. We have so many rights and opportunities. We can express free will but we can’t escape the nepotism that is ingrained in each of us. No one wants to ADMIT it but come on, you know if it was between your kid and a stranger who had to be chosen as tiger bait for the village you are going to convince yourself and others why the stranger is the better candidate to become a sacrifice. We CAN control this to a certain point, but evolution is strong my friends. Fighting with this internally makes life a pain in the derriere sometimes.

Emotions. DAMN YOU EMOTIONS! We are not robots and Darwin has told us anxiety is an emotion that has saved tons of our ancestors. It made us run away from those saber toothed tigers and not put our hand in dark crevices where all sorts of creepy crawlies hid. Anxiety was what told our primitive brains that maybe jumping out of the tree was not a great idea and those handy vines would be better but be sure to pull and test them first. So when I am crying under my blankets because I allowed my teenagers to hurt my feelings or when I’m wondering if I’m being judged I try to remember that emotions are not just there to make my life hard. They were there from the very beginning.

https://www.pixar.com/feature-films/inside-out

Just today, I told my teenagers, “Can you two please try to get along today? Is it really that hard?” Turns out, it is. Shhhhh don’t tell them. Remember the selfishness I mentioned in another paragraph? Yeah, that causes us to not always get along. Throw in some emotions and like a bunch of wolves there is always someone that will be an alpha and someone who will leave the pack because it’s not the way they want to “roll”. So we are not always going to get along.

So why is life so hard? On top of everything else we are dealing with – the pandemic, the economy, climate change, school shootings, brash robberies – turns out we have to deal with all the stuff that evolution has thrown at us. So be good to yourself and remember that a lot of it is “natural”. Not one piece of evidence says it’s okay to be an asshole though, so don’t be one.

Published by bridgey1967

Loyal. Funny. Sensitive. Loving.

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