Who Is NOT Talking About Will Smith?

A wise man who happens to be a great friend of mine said, why are we talking about this when there is so much more pressing news? While I agree with him that this is not as pertinent as the war on Ukraine, the possible recession or any other topics I think it is something that we absolutely should be talking about. After all, what is war but a violent show of power when words fail?

I am in the last stages of my memoir and editing like crazy. Of course, I am revisiting the parts where my mother hit me when she was upset, scared or frustrated. I relive the pain and sorrow each time I re read a paragraph. I also heal a bit each time. Whether assault is constant or a one time thing, I think it is an important discussion to have. It’s been interesting to hear the opinions of people from different age groups about the Oscar incident.

There are some who have told me that it was right and noble for Will to protect his wife. Some people feel that this is a show of love – to be willing to put yourself in harm’s way for the one you love. I can see that being the case if your child is being attacked by a group and needs your help. I can see also, running into a burning house to save them. As far as Jada Pinkett Smith – she is not someone that looked like she was needing to be rescued. She is a strong SUCCESSFUL actress who has her own talk show where she discusses many topics about self awareness, growth and acceptance. I did not see her needing anyone to rescue her Sunday night.

I belong to no one. As a woman I personally don’t want to be helped until I ask for it. I have never liked the whole, princess saved by the prince vibe or you better be nice to me or my big boyfriend will kiss your butt one. If I ask for help, please for the love of humanity, come help me. However, I don’t want anyone to assume on my behalf that I need to be rescued. I definitely would NEVER want anyone that I love to assault another human being unless our lives were truly being threatened.

There are so many layers to what occurred on live TV Sunday night but for me the most important is that WE MUST USE OUR WORDS. How many times have parents taught this to the children? Hands are not for hitting. Use your words. Take a breath. Be proactive not reactive. Hopefully not many children were watching this adult show but those that did – I wonder what message they received? Hopefully the adults in the room quickly told them this was NOT the best way to handle things.

I’m saddened by all the loss. Questlove was the one getting an award that Chris Rock was about to hand out. Does anyone remember what he was getting one for? When will he ever have his “moment” again? You can’t EVER get your first moment back – not really. Instead of feeling the solemn respect for all the people who passed way while watching the In Memoriam segment, I bet most people’s minds were still reeling from the violence we witnessed. I’m especially sad for Will Smith. He lost his moment in the light and he lost a battle he was probably fighting for most of his life. Having sympathy for someone does not mean I condone their actions. I think Will has to be dealing with so much to have done something so senseless and stupid. I truly feel sorry for him.

I know he recently wrote a memoir- WILL BY WILL SMITH. I have not read it yet but it is on my list. I know he writes about living as a fearful child who grew up watching his violent alcoholic father hit is mother. That kind of trauma is something none of us truly recover from. It’s something we deal with at different stages of our lives in the best way we can. No, the trauma is no excuse for what he did. The high pressure life style he leads is not an excuse for what he did. None of it is an excuse – however it is a WINDOW. All these events are a window into what makes Will who he is. Why did he snap at THAT moment? It was the pinnacle of his acting career to receive a best actor award during an Oscar ceremony produced by talented people from the community. To me, this is a window to show just how powerful childhood trauma can be. So I sympathize with Will.

Photo from https://deadline.com/2021/06/will-smith-book-autobiography-will-cover-publication-date-1234778416/

Then there is Chris Rock. One of eight siblings, he grew up with blue collar parents who was bullied for being little and then bullied for being black and little when he was bused to predominately white schools. He retells of a time when he nearly killed one of his bullies. With therapy, her learned to control that scary anger abuse victims carry. We are afraid of it. We know it is in there and we know it should not come out and we do everything we can to contain it. Why didn’t Chris throw Will down? I think it is because he is at a higher level of understanding himself than Will is. I have mad mad respect for Mr. Rock. Honestly, I’ve never been a fan of his work – he is not my cup of tea. But now, I so respect the human he is. I will bet that he has great sympathy for Will too. The fact that he has not spoken about it makes me think he is being very thoughtful. I sympathize with Chris too. I hope he’s okay and this incident did not trigger any anguish for him.

Photo from https://www.vulture.com/2014/11/

What to do? I don’t know what these men will do. I don’t know what the academy or society will do. However, I hope that people keep talking. Any talk about physical violence and assault is good. It is an uncomfortable topic, but the more we talk about it the more we can normalize talking about it. Then someday maybe the person that needs to hear it the most will hear it and seek the help they need. I can only hope.

Published by bridgey1967

Loyal. Funny. Sensitive. Loving.

One thought on “Who Is NOT Talking About Will Smith?

  1. Personally, I don’t watch award shows, because I don’t care much for celebrities and I think they get way more attention than they deserve! Unless they are using their celebrity status to bring attention to a cause that helps other people or are helping others directly with their actions, I don’t really care what they are doing. The only reason that I heard anything about this, was that it was being blasted all over the internet and people I know were talking about it. It seems to me that both parties were in the wrong and the situation could and should have been handled much better. Chris Rock took a cheap shot at Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith resorted to physical violence against someone much smaller, so they are both bullies. As a strong woman, Jada could have either stood up for herself or let the insult pass without giving it any attention. I think it was all for show and distracted everyone from more worldly concerns for a little while. Picking a side in this is like talking about which pro wrestler you like better and arguing about whether it is real or fake. There are many lessons to be learned from all this, but not the ones most people are talking about!! Like Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction, this has played out longer than it should have and we need to move on to more important things.

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