We love women in many ways. Most of us love our moms, sisters, aunts, grandmothers, wives, girlfriends, best friends, etc. None of us love ALL the women in our lives – you might claim to, but you know there is always that “one” that is too hard to love for whatever reasons. It’s okay.
When I was unable to obtain the love and nurturing I needed from my mother, I was able to turn to my grandmother, but other than her, I tended to reach out to males because for me, they were easier to understand. For most of them, their motives were clear and they expressed themselves more simply. If you are more than a minute old you have heard of the Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus series. There have been countless articles about how men and women love differently.
As I got older, I met women like me and I was able to connect with them on different levels. I was asked out by women in college on romantic dates but that did not resonate with me but being friends with queer folk taught me a lot about even deeper ways of loving fellow human beings. I became more comfortable with loving women in my life.
The best friends of childhood are sweet but you know it’s mostly about loving the same books, cartoons or having similar habits. Adult best friends GET you. You are their PERSON. They send you cards that say, “We are companions of the soul. . ” that you keep up where you can see it every day. They buy you bracelets that say, “I’d shank a bitch for you.” Wait, what? You don’t have a best friends like that? Sorry – you need one because you feel like a freaking superhero when you have a friend that has your back that hard. OF COURSE I don’t want her to shank anyone – but the fact that she WOULD – that is powerful.
I am happy to say now that while I still have an incredible best guy friend who has been like a brother to me for 30 years, now I love more women then men. I’ve grown as a human and after finally embracing my quirky brand of womanhood I can finally accept many women in my life and not feel as if they are looking down on me or competing with me. It’s so nice to be in my 50s and have that ability to accept each other as they are and even admire the “battle scars” we all carry.
My best friend in the entire universe – my cohort on this blog- really does not ever have to do anything for me again and I would still love her until my dying breath. Her acceptance of me just the way I am, the love she gives me, the empathy she has for my situations and the comfort level of being around her is such a gift. I’m so glad she forced me on that first lunch outing. LOL. Now she has found love with a wonderful man and we both can enjoy each others’ company when our busy lives let us. My goal for the rest of this year and for every year is to make MORE time for her and for myself. Life is too short and I need to spend more of it with JoAnne.
Don’t be jelly but I got lucky enough to find ANOTHER best friend – even later in life. Who would have thunk it? In your 40s most people are settled in with their group of friends and no one has time to make new friends. Ugh – just the thought of it, right? But lo and behold a magical music fairy crossed paths with me and re ignited my love of percussion. Those 4 years when she was conductor and I was percussionists were rejuvenating. Okay okay so I hero worship her a tiny bit. She rolls her eyes at it but damn it, she has gigged and played with REAL musicians so how can I not? LOL That is the least of it. She is also one of the most generous humans I have ever met. I know, in the middle of the night in a blinding blizzard, if I were being attacked by Demogorgons, she would break her guitar in half and stab it in the eye with the jagged end. Hence, I must spend more time with Bonnie as well.
So, if there is ever a zombie apocalypse, I’m kidnapping these two women because the three of us will be able to survive it hands down. They are so different from one another but they both love ME – how f-ing cool is that? How lucky am I/ We would also become a badass trio rescuing people. Oooh, now I want to draw a comic about us. . .